ginger has snapped....

this time around i choose to be the one who snapped. all my nerves and synapses are telling me, shut it out....no more. let me be cold and icy like i used to.

i just do not understand why some people just cant admit their mistakes. some are just too arrogant to let some things just pass by them.

when they say words are mightier than swords, i guess nothing more is true, but the truth. and truth hurts.

maybe it hurts because it came from the mouth that always been singing to my ears. or maybe i am just too overly sensitive.

baby, this time ginger has snapped. and i am giving you a silent treatment, and a long one indeed.

sayang tak terucap....

i heard that life gives back to you of whatever you have given.

if you hate, you get hate....but if you love, you will get love.....

hmmmm, so far i have no proof of that.

i love, and love, and love. i give and give, and give....although in silence, in despair, and in vain. you filled this hollow in my heart somehow. and knowing that loving you and doing it aloud will only destroy me. this feeling is doing nothing good but some serious damage to my heart. it is like smoking, it kills, although the ecstacy it gives you is just magnificient.

i will love, and will not stop....maybe not for now. and maybe life will turn its page around and let me have it this time.

crazy.....

siento como voy a estallar por las sensaciones que estoy guardando adentro. tengo tal gran deseo de tenerlo, para amarlo, para cuidar para él. quisiera que él sintiera la misma manera que lo hago.

y nada mucho que puedo hacer pero esperar y rogar.

Dios, si lo significan para mí, después dejó su corazón cerca de mí. y únanos con tal gran amor.

pero si las sensaciones que tengo me destruirían solamente y lastimado me, por favor, Dios, lo sale de mí, lo lanza lejos. de modo que no lastime más.

Manusia dan kehendaknya....

sebenarnya memang susah nak kawal keinginan dan perasaan....setelah cuba dan mencuba lagi, dan aku pun berjanji kepada diri sendiri untuk mengawal perasaan yang entah bukan-bukan ini...tapi ia tetap bertandang lagi.

ia terus mengetuk pintu hati, menyesakkan nafas yang dah sememangnya sesak dengan cuaca Kuala Lumpur yang sangat sejuk beberapa hari ni.

memang kita manusia adalah makhluk yang lemah. Maka memang sebab itulah kita dibenci oleh Syaitan. sebab katanya kita dijadikan daripada tanah, sedang dia daripada api.....

Jadi berdoalah kepada Allah untuk mendapat kekuatan supaya anda tidak tewas kepada nafsu, seperti saya, yang tewas pada pagi ini. Tidak lagi mampu menahan keinginan yang membuak-buak untuk makan ayam goreng, yang berkolesterol tinggi.........

what a bad girl i am....

i have become one of them....i hurt people even when they didnt know it.

i hate myself right now, but i wish i could just turn it all over again. where i made the worse decision. at least i would stay the same.

i wouldn't have hurt myself. i wouldn't have hurt others. at least my heart is protected....although i might be living in such hate and feeling despicable to have hated my boss the whole time.

things get dirtier everyday. such evil lingers here, and believe it or not, i have a new point of view about some people.

i find some people are just bad morally. some just do not perform in their work. some are just plain fake.

but then, they who have been mentioned above, are actually nice people. they dont hurt others. they dont stab each other.

cantik itu perlu???

I was never a beauty....Never born as one, nor will i become one. But lately, i feel like beautiful people just could achieve almost anything.

pretty girls get guys they like, pretty boys get girls they like.

pretty girls get good jobs. pretty boys get promoted. even when they are airheads.

and they could just jump jobs.

when you are not pretty, or weigh more than you should, you don't stand a chance.

but i ain't complaining. i am just feeling sorry for myself.