I guess I am just so scared of hurting. I guess I just don't like taking risks when it comes to matters of the heart.
I have healed, at least I want to believe so. I have not thought of that same person the way I used to.
But now, another one appears in my life. And all I hear in my monologue :
Heart : Do You like him?
Head : I don't want to.
Heart : But you like him?
Head : Yes I do....
I know, you should never ever question God. But, a human being just can't help it. What have I done that I deserve this kind of torture to the heart?
I just hate it so much. If it is within my control, I would switch off my heart. So I know I can guard myself from falling in love.
At this moment, all I want is to get the hell out of here. So I will no longer anticipate those moments where we bump into each other. So I no longer anticipate that one lunch date. Oh yeah, I did gather courage to have that one lunch. But, it didn't happen. And I continue anticipating.
I shall not anticipate. I should have stopped expecting. And therefore I will continue wondering, assuming, and hurting....
