I, the loser

When it comes to matters of the heart, I am always in a turbulence.

Been over a year and a half since I last wrote here. I was madly in love with him. Anticipation, desire, hope, dream.

They say I should try. And I did. I got hurt.

The only thing wasn't said verbally was how much I adore him. He may not be a mind reader, but he should have seen it from my actions.

Today I am in a different place. And so is he. The last day I was there, we didn't say goodbye. But I know it was already a broken dream.

He was the man I love. He was the one who I prayed for. I asked God, make him a better man. Well maybe he did. But it wasn't for me. He became a better man for another woman.

Here I am in another place. Keeping a deep secret. Someone. Someone who is impossibly mine. And all I can do is dream and making up stories in my head.

I deal badly with emotions. I fall for the wrong person at most times. And I know I will keep on falling. But nobody is there to catch me. I am just too heavy (chuckles).

Above all, love is a losing game. And I have always been the looser.