have u ever?

have u ever felt like u don't belong? no matter how much u want to be in, but u always feel that u're just someone on the outside?

i am feeling the numbness in our relationship right now, my dear JOB.... though i want it to be career instead of a job. it felt like i wasn't trusted enough. feels like i am always the one who makes the 5th wheel...hmm.

when the silence seems so loud...and u see people around u did not care of your existence.

i just don't know why, i feel so isolated. i feel so alone in the crowd of 13 people. i feel awkward all the time. i get to do crappy things, when someone who ranked lower got a higher responsibility. what am i doing? blaming it on the wrong choice i made?

i am well aware of it. i literally begged for the JOB (again, it is not a career).

i am still trapped. i am still uncertain of whatever is happening to me, or who i will become. i am so leaving the company next year.

i made mistake. and it just felt like they had stopped trusting me....let's just see how we move from here.