i am sad....i am in grief....i feel so alone.
i feel like i am an outcast. they make me feel that way. they made me feel worthless. they made me hurt so badly. and i wish i could just turn back time....i'd rather suffer and continue becoming a slave, rather than having so much work, but being treated like an outcast......
i am crying so hard right now. and now i understand how does it feel to feel bad....i am so broken right now, and being at a very low point of my life.....
i tried hard, and too hard to be part of them. and now i am nor here not there. i should've never involved myself into all this high society life up there.....coz in the end, i was never belonged there....
i once said i will never be the superstar...and yes, i was right. why am i being punished this way?
just because i am not agreeing to you, you put me off the team.....i once felt like you were the brother i never had....and that feeling wasnt mutual i guess. i had hopes that you will be the one who would support me and to climb high.....but you let me down...
if only you would understand that people have feelings too. there are hearts that are easily broken...
and i was accused being the firestarter in this place.....it felt like the whole world caved in on me....you, out of so many people is telling everyone, i broke the department apart....
i am here coz i wanted to shine. i thought life would be better with you people.....but out of so many people.....and you little one......i thought i found a friend in you...but no....you had hurt me so bad. and the worse part....you were the root of all these....the one i once thought as my big brother now succumbs to your eagerness to climb up there....and you are not letting me to climb with you.
people have hearts you know.....and even if i am the ugliest person here....but God made me this way....
beauty doesnt mean pure and true...that's the best lesson i learned. being a bitch under that pure fair skin is the worst that anybody can be. we will be like the ones around us....and nothing more is true than that.....
like how john legend sings it "baby when i used to love you, there's nothing that i wouldn't do"....and no, i don't wan to anymore.
Please God, above all i wanted, please...let me be happy. let me be happy of what i do and with people around me, people who i work with. i want to be happy, so much.....
i hate feeling depressed like this, hating each weekdays i have to go through.....hating every moment that i have to put on my headphones so i dont hear any of their voices....because it hurts me so bad, knowing that i am not needed here, knowing how much they want to break me....
Please God, let me out of here.....please spare me the unnecessary pain........
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