funny how we forget...

this year didn't start very well for me. though i tried to live the fullest, but still there was this little unhappy feelings i kept buried.

i missed my promotions with a salary increase of 15%, just because i felt there is no point staying in the same department. i was crushed to find out there are undeserving group of people who got it. but what is the point being promoted if all i do is sit still and hating every word coming out of my boss's mouth.

i found out happiness doesn't necessaruly mean you are paid well, although often it is not the real truth. i forgot that happiness is when people around you makes you feel happy. with no hate, with no grudge.

my friends have found their perfect soulmates, the love of their lives. no one was spared from this thing called marriage but me, and a couple of them in my circle of friends. from there, i started to feel there is just no space for me in their lives. even there is any, i wouldnt be the same.

i tried not to feel being left out. i said to myself, i have plenty to live for. i buried myself into work. forgot about everything else, but work.

An SMS snapped me out of it. a childhood friend, with her own family now, woke me up. i was too busy with work, i forgot about most people that were around my life.

i forgot about what i used to cherish. i forgot about friendship. lucky i am living with my family. if i had worked somewhere else, i might have forgotten them as well.

i don't even have time for people in this company that are still around and used to be in the same department. i just don't spend time with my office besties anymore.

i am not too proud of it. i work like crazy, even on weekends. but that was my way to escape from the loneliness that creeps into my life. i am lonely, and hating it.

funny how easy i have forgottten all those that i used to live for.....